Beginning Homeschooling: What I Wish I’d Known Back Then
What You Need to Know When Beginning Homeschooling…And What I Wish I’d Known Back When I Started Homeschooling Because Hindsight is 20/20!! Especially When Beginning Homeschooling!
Find out the TOP 10 things Successful Homeschool Moms DON’T DO
So many families who are beginning homeschooling feel overwhelmed by all of the information and methods and curriculum and opinions.
And no one wants to make the “wrong choices” for their child’s education!
My dad likes to remind me that hindsight is 20/20 every time I have regrets over a choice I’ve made. It’s his way of reminding me that we do the best we can with the information that we have available AT THAT TIME. When we have more or different information, then yes, we might have made a different decision.
That’s why I want to share these truths about homeschooling that I wish I had known when I began this journey.
Once we know better, we try to do better, though, right?
If you are just beginning your homeschool experience, I hope that these nuggets of wisdom are encouraging!
Do you ever wish you could have a homeschool mom mentor to help you in your homeschooling journey?
Although I’d prefer to think of myself as “young” the reality is that I’m considered a “veteran” homeschooler by others because I’ve been homeschooling since 2001.
And back in 2001, when my family began this journey our public library only had about three books about homeschooling. And I didn’t personally know anyone who actually homeschooled.
(BTW: There are 20 years between my oldest and my youngest, so I’ll have homeschooled for 35 years when the youngest graduated!!!!)
This was made painfully obvious last fall when I was asked to be on a panel of veteran homeschool moms for a homeschool co-op discussion. While I was flattered to be asked, I was also horrified to think I was THAT OLD!
If I could go back to 2001 when I was beginning homeschooling, these are the top 10 things I’d tell myself.
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Here are the TOP 10 things Successful Homeschool Moms DON’T DO
1. Don’t think that it’s always going to be rainbows and unicorns.
It will often be ugly and messy, sometimes for long stretches of time.
Give yourself and your kids grace when there are bad days and bad attitudes. There will be frustration and fussing (on both of your parts!), but there will also be bits of joy, and looking back, you’ll remember the good times much more than the bad times!
2. Don’t give up just because it’s hard.
It really will be worth it in the end. Nothing worthwhile is easy. Think about why it’s really tough. What is really getting in the way of having smooth days?
Take the time to step back and objectively observe the interactions of your day to see what the issues are, and then work on fixing them, one at a time.
Here are some possibilities:
Do you need to change curriculum?
Maybe you need to switch up your schedule?
Do you need to turn your phone on silent while you are doing school?
Or maybe your family just needs a break from the regular routine with a game day or nature study day.
Do your kids struggle with obeying? Or is it a physical thing? Do they need to literally run around the house 3 times before they can look at their math?
Learn more about discipleship (not discipline–that’s different).
3. Don’t be afraid to use the resources in your community.
Join or create a co-op where you can gather to teach some subjects as a small group. We were in one for a few years where one of the moms taught science, another taught art, one mom watched all the little kids and babies, and the other mom cleaned her house each week as a place to meet. It was an excellent way to use each mom’s gifts and talents and didn’t require a huge time commitment.
If you can, get extra help with your little ones by hiring a homeschooled high school student as a mommy’s helper for a few hours each week while you work with your older kids.
Ask retired homeschool moms about tutoring. Or look into after-school classes in your community like an art or pottery class at a museum.
Maybe your child needs some special services such as speech or occupational therapy. Read these articles to find out what to do if you are worried about your child’s speech or language.
4. Don’t start kindergarten a year early at age four; let them enjoy their childhood.
Play IS a kid’s work. Formal, sit at the desk and do worksheets type of schooling isn’t superior to play. Give your child opportunities for new experiences and exploration. Use a gentle approach like themed unit studies or literature-based unit studies for intentional play-based learning.
Homeschooling pioneers, Raymond and Dorothy Moore, who are famous for their books, Better Late than Early, and School Can Wait (now OOP) presented research-based reasons to not start formal schooling at 4 or 5 years of age. You can read a bit about their reasoning as well as signs of reading readiness here.
Or read the book, Rethinking School, by Susan Wise Bauer ( who also wrote The Well-Trained Mind, which is THE book to get if you are interested in a Classical education).
I started my second daughter in a formal kindergarten bookwork at age four because she’d already taught herself to read and add and subtract mentally. She didn’t have any problems with academic schoolwork, but when she graduated from high school, just having turned seventeen, we didn’t feel she was quite ready for dorm life.
It turned out okay in the end though as she took a gap year, worked several jobs, and lived at home (and we bought her a puppy–can’t take puppies with you to the dorm! LOL) before she moved into an apartment with her older sister and attended college.
5. Don’t compare your family or children to others.
That mom that looks like she has it all together?
Spoiler Alert: She doesn’t. None of us do! Some of us just hide our crazy better!!
We all have stuff that we’re dealing with; remember that we don’t know what it’s really like in others’ place. And we all have different energy levels and we’re in different seasons, so our lives are going to look different.
I mean, if we wanted to be like everyone else, we’d be sending our kids to a government school, right?
Don’t let comparison and FOMO steal your joy.
6. Don’t be afraid to ditch a curriculum that isn’t working for your family.
Maybe you selected a curriculum because of all the positive reviews from the homeschool community or how convincing the display was at the homeschool convention only to discover that you and your kids want to cry every time you pull it out!
My two oldest girls and I spent two years struggling through a style of homeschooling that sounded great in theory. But it didn’t match their learning styles or our lifestyle. I wish now that I’d chucked it after 6 months, except I WANTED it to work and stubbornly kept at it.
Before investing heavily in something, try it out for a bit first with samples or buy it used to try it out. Check online, most companies have a week sample to experiment with. Look at different choices to find the right fit for your children.
7. Don’t isolate yourself.
Especially in these tough times, don’t fall into the easy routine of always staying home and not doing or seeing anything different outside of your daily routine.
Schedule regular times to draw support from other families with similar interests. Make sure that you are getting outside for sunshine and fresh air (at least 30 minutes before noon each day).
Also, be sure that you and your kids are regularly filling your emotional buckets. Just remember to keep it simple, like an hour a week at the park with friends, so that it doesn’t just become another stressful THING on your plate.
Learn how to create a local teen group if your area doesn’t have one
8. Don’t forget that kids learn in different ways and at different paces.
Different homeschooling styles will mesh better with different learning styles. Experiment to find the one that best fits with your child’s style.
I used the same curriculum for my two oldest, but discovered with my third child, that one type of curriculum doesn’t fit all the kids in a family. He needed a more hands-on, immersion-style of learning instead of a rigid, boxed curriculum set (which my older ones also loved!).
Also, not every kid will teach themselves to read by age 5 1/2 like my two oldest did. Some kids don’t learn to read until they are 8 or 9 and that’s okay. It doesn’t make them behind! Usually by age 10 or 11, they can read as well as other kids their age or even better! (If your child is still struggling to read at 9/10 years old, you may want to take them to a speech-language pathologist, who can determine if they have dyslexia or a language delay).
Extra resources if you are worried about your child’s learning and abilities:
9. Don’t overbook your schedule.
Life is a balancing act and it may take a while to find the best balance for your family when it comes to outside activities and schoolwork done at home.
Figure out how much time your family needs at home to complete schoolwork and then schedule outside activities around the times you’ve dedicated to schoolwork.
Balance is key. My family prefers activities in which everyone can participate (like 4-H) instead of having 3 kids on 3 different sports teams with 3 different schedules and no one ever eats dinner at a table.
Find out why we like 4-H as a homeschooling family
10. Don’t worry about “messing up.”
Make your educational decisions with prayerful consideration for your child’s best interests and give yourself grace when mistakes are made.
Picking the wrong science curriculum one year isn’t going to matter in the long run.
We all mess up plenty every day; all parents do. When you do, reset, ask forgiveness and move on.
Get a list of the best resources for homeschooling moms here
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